If I Were a Country, I'd Be Non Sequitorial Guinea

I'd try to make the argument that I really have an attention-SURPLUS disorder, except that I don't even remember the clown story now.

The Pressure Cooker

The little funny drops on the table are the meringues, by the way, and yes, they were red and blue.

The funny swooping arc is the table, by the way.

The Devil is in the Details at Eleven

It would be even better if it turned out that they were going to say that the demons were upset about some folks who tried to subvert the demon government, so that the story also talked about the "demons' traitors."  If this happened, I would probably not be able to stop giggling for three days.

(sigh)

Real news is so boring.

Like a Good Board Game, State Farm is There

The correct answer, obviously, is B.

First off, vampires can't be State Farm agents, because they would be unable to avoid forming tragic romances with prospective customers which would ultimately bring about the war with the werewolf Nationwide agents.  Vampires know this and adhere to a strict code that causes them to resist the extraordinary allure of insurance sales work.

Second, the bizarre black living fog created by State Farm offices all over the United States long ago grew too large to be contained in something as small as a single State Farm office.  It is currently being held in a hollowed-out self-storage facility north of Munsie, Indiana.

Lastly, since This American Life is produced by non-profit public radio, hipster accountants would look down their noses at using a profit-making company like State Farm as its facade.  They wouldn't get near it.  The This American Life-themed night club they frequent is fronted by a Greenpeace office.

So the only answer that makes any sense is B.

Little Casual Tuesdays (It's a New Thing)

I'd like to thank the Canadian website for the TD Summer Reading Club (whatever that is) for helping me learn how to draw a mouse.

Also, I'm pretty sure I should SUE that website, since the little hook feet and the pitchfork hands they recommend for their mouse drawings are just a bit too similar to the stick figures of a certain Artist of the Awful.

Putting Our IKEA Into Words

As it happens, we originally purchased our children at IKEA and assembled them at home with an Allen wrench.  They came with two extra wooden pegs, three additional 5/8" anchor bolts, two birthdays, and an ability to play tournament-level Scrabble that we weren't able to install.

We Do Our Thing With Inaction

Today's blog post includes an Easter egg, for those clever enough to find it.

On Minds That Clench and Honey That Doesn't

That's right - I used the word "fricative" in my blog today--what, WHAAAAT?  

Can't mess with this vocabularistic playa...

A Wee Bit of Travel

As you may have guessed, the family has done a fair bit of driving of late.

I Swear I Did Not Make This Up

To see other really super awesome makeup tutorials like this one, as well as a whole passel of other delightful writings and picturings and videoings on a bevy of other topics, you should SPEND SOME TIME OVER AT THE MAEBEDAZE BLOG!!

Also, Happy April Fools Day.

Awful Pictures will return to normal tomorrow.  And when I say normal, well, you know.