Friday, April 10, 2015

Like a Good Board Game, State Farm is There


The correct answer, obviously, is B.

First off, vampires can't be State Farm agents, because they would be unable to avoid forming tragic romances with prospective customers which would ultimately bring about the war with the werewolf Nationwide agents.  Vampires know this and adhere to a strict code that causes them to resist the extraordinary allure of insurance sales work.

Second, the bizarre black living fog created by State Farm offices all over the United States long ago grew too large to be contained in something as small as a single State Farm office.  It is currently being held in a hollowed-out self-storage facility north of Munsie, Indiana.

Lastly, since This American Life is produced by non-profit public radio, hipster accountants would look down their noses at using a profit-making company like State Farm as its facade.  They wouldn't get near it.  The This American Life-themed night club they frequent is fronted by a Greenpeace office.

So the only answer that makes any sense is B.

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