Pardon My French

I think this post may establish once and for all that I am utterly incapable of creating a truly political comic.

Sleeveless Nights

I can only assume she'd want a separate set of

"Candy Crush sleeves" as well.

Apple Corpse

Just to be clear, I make these kinds of remarks so that my family will feel less guilty when they eventually have to sacrifice me to save themselves during the zombie apocalypse.

Odor Toilette

Younger Daughter asks a not insignificant question.  Personally, I imagine that unscented perfume would have the ability to counteract the effects of other scents it encounters.

Like a superpower.

A lame superpower, but a superpower nevertheless.

A Chrisses Story

Nowadays they'd probably also throw in the Chrisses Hardwick and Pine.  And, depending on their mood, Eccleston and Rock.

I'm toying with changing my name to Adolph so that I can at least make the top three - you know, behind 20s/30s film star Adolphe Menjou.

On Being Unreasonable

Oh boy is Wife going to feel incredibly bad for doubting me when I finally come up with the reason I did this.

So Level With Me

Lots of studies now show that looking at a screen just before you go to sleep is bad for you.  I'd like to commission a study to prove, as I suspect, that the effect of the screen on the person in bed next to you can also be bad for you.

Like secondhand smoke.

Giving Heroes a Bad Name

I realize that technically, when we do that move, it's not a "self five," as I suggested here, but a "self three."

For simplicity's sake, I rounded up.