The Art of Darkness

For the Disney version of this joke, please visit here.

Please also note the tie-in to yesterday's commentary on zero.

Making Nothing Out of Something

This post also establishes that 3 things, while being ALMOST nothing, is in fact MORE than zero things.

On another note, the "more than zero emissions" label could be used for a lot of people I know as well.

Ventrilociraptorism

To their eternal credit, my daughters identified entirely on their own what sort of dinosaur I was.

Man Loves Tree Loves Rock Hates Man, Part 3

It's weird how much the guy in this comic looks like the stick-figure version of me.

They've Made Their Bed, Now They'll Have to Be Canadian In It

Sometimes, for short, we call them "asylum corners."  If we're feeling especially creepy, we call them, "American Horror Story Asylum corners."

An Historic Meating

Also, Xerxes spelled backwards is "sex Rex."  Hee-hee.

Raider of the Lost Snark

Turns out, the kid was a huge Tolkein fan - read the whole Hobbit series like eight times.  Which, of course, makes him a ringworm.

Trying to Hold the Fortitude

Plankton would totally be the bad guy in the sequel, 28 Weeks Later.

The Most Difficult Car Bingo Game You've Never Played

I swear I saw all these things. 

Also a live seagull perched on the hood of an occupied Altima at a rest stop.

And a stretch of highway beautification provided by "Walter."

And also the waste disposal truck had signs on the back that said, "Residual Waste - Bada Bing!" and "Solid Waste - Bada Boom!"

The Drinking Problem

We don't really eat off red plates.

You can stop worrying now.