Friday, July 31, 2015

Flight Risks


So, basically, I decided to try a new eyebrow configuration in Panel 4, which I like, and my eyebrow pencil ended up running amok in Panel 3, which I didn't.

Now I know exactly how Van Gogh felt when he did that whole ear thing.  EXACTLY.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Even Worse Than Breaking Your Word...


Just to be clear, in Panel 3, my wife is taking part in the nightly Fluffing of the Couch Cushions.  Like the Running of the Bulls, only way less runny and bully.  More couchy and fluffy.  You get the idea.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Logan's Done


This is really seriously true.

(once you've loaded the page, do a find for "awfulpictures" to find my stuff, if it's not immediately apparent)

Monday, July 27, 2015

Apparently Goodness is Literally Its Own Reward


For those playing at home, I would mention that I stopped flipping when I found an infomercial about reverse mortgages.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Split Ps







I need to look into buying a smaller laptop.  And a couch that has arms at both ends.

Friday, July 24, 2015

I Definitely Have a Favorite Daughter Who Wrote This Title


This is what I imagine my life will be like when I become a corporate sell-out and APTW becomes a crass advertising property that pops up in ads for Geico and Toilet Duck and I'm finally able to have an office with cubicles of interns who actually draw my cartoons for me, James Patterson-style.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Eating Disorders




The complete list of things I've been eating when my teeth have broken are:
1. spanakopita
2. ice cream
3. cinnamon danish
4. breakfast wrap (cheese, egg, hash browns)

I'm not sure what substance my mutant teeth are made of such that they can actually be broken by these things, but I'm assuming it's something like wet toilet paper.  Possibly air.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Trust But Verify






You should have been there.  You could have cut the tension in the third panel with a knife.  I elected instead to cut it with the Photoshop clipping tool.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Alternate Unrealities




I think in that second panel Wife really manages to produce the same energy as Librarian Mary in the "George was never born" sequence of It's a Wonderful Life.  I should have put her glasses on her.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Recent Trans Missions


Then there's the whole thing about how so many of our planets have male names, but we still seem to refer to them as "she" and "her."  What's that about?  Maybe NASA has been quietly, in their own way, promoting transgender issues for years...