As an added bonus, a colleague in my office watched this entire thing transpire, as he'd inadvertently ended up in the same places as me at critical points in the story. Needless to say, he was hopelessly amused. In that same parallel universe, he has been rushed to the hospital as his continued laughter caused oxygen deprivation.
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All criticism is welcome and, generally, warranted. More than that, when you write things here, it makes me feel less lonely and makes you a nicer person.