Part of my problem is imagining the staple being removed at some point, leaving two tiny holes in each of the bills, like they've been attacked by some kind of currency vampire that feeds on the value of innocent money, leaving it lifeless and empty, so that it can no longer be used to purchase garlic.
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All criticism is welcome and, generally, warranted. More than that, when you write things here, it makes me feel less lonely and makes you a nicer person.