A Pre-occupation With Christmas

My ability to feel guilt is immensely flexible.

Like if a gold-medal rhythmic gymnast left a life as a circus contortionist to become a Bikram yoga instructor.

That kind of flexible.

On Bended Nihilism

Pasta is the best meal to prepare to discuss existential crises. Sartre said that. Or possibly Chef Boyardee.

Food Coloring

This is how our family participates in

the slow food movement.

At one dinner party it took us three hours to serve dessert.

Pardon My French

I think this post may establish once and for all that I am utterly incapable of creating a truly political comic.

Sleeveless Nights

I can only assume she'd want a separate set of

"Candy Crush sleeves" as well.

Apple Corpse

Just to be clear, I make these kinds of remarks so that my family will feel less guilty when they eventually have to sacrifice me to save themselves during the zombie apocalypse.

Odor Toilette

Younger Daughter asks a not insignificant question.  Personally, I imagine that unscented perfume would have the ability to counteract the effects of other scents it encounters.

Like a superpower.

A lame superpower, but a superpower nevertheless.

A Chrisses Story

Nowadays they'd probably also throw in the Chrisses Hardwick and Pine.  And, depending on their mood, Eccleston and Rock.

I'm toying with changing my name to Adolph so that I can at least make the top three - you know, behind 20s/30s film star Adolphe Menjou.