It Can Be Hard to Breathe When You're Dead

 

This ancient artifact is the centerpiece of Stephanie Myers' new novel about all the vampires at Bella & Edward's school who AREN'T impossibly good-looking & great at baseball. They carry notes from their doctors explaining that they're not even allowed to fly long distances without frequent breaks.

But then as the inhaler-vampires age, they make millions in Internet start-ups and threaten to turn the entire world into vampires using a computer virus called "Killah Byte."

I'm going to make my "TEAM VLAD" shirt.  Let me know if you want one.